Amy - Inoperable Tumour? RIP 03/09

[victoria]

After spending most of the day with Amy and watching her struggle, I called the vet and let them know we would be coming in. She started "quacking" last night, a new sound for me and not one I ever want to hear again from a rat, and in the afternoon she started clicking as she breathed with her mouth open. She did not eat and drink a single thing all day with the exception of the little bit of meds she took from my husband when he got home to say goodbye.

After I called the vet I bawled and she came over to comfort me and tried really hard to act "all better." This was one of the hardest, most surreal euthanasias I have experienced because she was so young and relatively healthy and she did not want to go. Both the vet and I had to hold her still in order to keep the mask on. After the injection, her heartbeat took what seemed like forever to slow down, something I have never experienced before. This tumour for me was probable worse than a PT and I so wish there was more I could have done... I felt the tumour before it was visible (and unfortunately thought it was an abscess initially) but even then the vet says it was too big for surgery to have been an option. If I feel up to it I may do a memorial later. I'm just so wiped right now and I need to do hydrotherapy on Sophie still, sanitize their cage, and clean the buns' cage that I should have done earlier in the week.

 

[crumbilina]

:hugs:

 

:hugs:

RIP little one :heart:

 

[jorats]

((hugs))

 

[Joanne]

Sorry, it sucks when they go, but it sucks even more when they're otherwise young and healthy...

 

[ChrisK]

I'm so sorry. :hugs:

 

[SQ]

I am so very sorry

:hugs:

 

[Sharlees rattakisses]

Hugs sweetheart. :cuddle:

 

[ATez]

Oh my gosh! I am so sorry for you and your little friend!
Having lost my special one i know exactly how you feel... your other babies will be there to make you feel all better.
RIP little Amy... Oh this is bringing me to tears. I am so sorry Victoria! :cry5:

Although i'm a bit confused they said it was too big to operate before you could even see it... are you still going to the vet on sherbrook?

 

[victoria]

Thanks guys. It is still so strange to not have her here. I miss her cuddles, her smell, the way she used to move my laptop out of the way to sit on my lap. I showed Bandit the body but she didn't react. Later, she looked for her all over the apartment and got visibly upset when she realized she wasn't here. She's so sad and clingy, I hope intros with the babies go quickly and she has buddies again.

Although i'm a bit confused they said it was too big to operate before you could even see it... are you still going to the vet on sherbrook?

It was the nature of the tumour and where it was. I have had neck tumours removed before but this was different. It didn't feel like a tumour when I first found it, just like a patch of tougher tissue. The vet gave it a good feel after she passed and said it felt like many tiny tumours growing on top of each other and they attached themselves to anything they could. When I first felt it it was half the size of my thumb, and the vet said maybe if it was half the size of my pinky the surgery would have been successful. In the end, it went from her collar bone, through her cheek, to her eye and made it's way almost all the way around her neck. It was to close and too attached to the blood supply and vital areas (trachea, esophagus, larynx, salivary glands, thyroid gland) and she was very unlikely to survive even the surgery. Because of the nature of the tumour it was likely malignant too and would have been very likely to come back. I'm not happy about it, I keep wondering if maybe she had a chance if I had taken her in the day I noticed it, but I know it is so unlikely we could have done anything.