My Ratosaurus is about to leave me - Today...

[Unepuce]

My beautiful big guy Pollux is now aging at the speed of light. He is now at the estimated age of 29 months, and dealing with HED and and a respiratory infection. This weekend, he was still himself, meaning he would go up and down the ramps, sleep in different places, eat and take his meds, but since yesterday, he looks just plain exhausted. I saw him try to get out of the Circus and just crash down halfway, resting. I offered him some Ensure, that he drank with all the enthusiasm he could manage to show and that seemed to perk him up a bit. I ratphoned him and can't hear a thing. I pinched the skin on his neck and he doesn't seem too dehydrated. His feet look dull, but not blue. This morning, I had to force feed his meds into him for the first time. :sad3:

I left him in his Circus, in a shadowy section of the CN, with a bowl of water at head's reach. I feel a bit lost and panicky, torn between my heart's sense of urgency to rush him to the vet, and my head saying "come on, you know he's old, what could they do for him that you're not already doing?" Should I try one more vet visit that would probably serve more to relieve my conscience than really help him, or just try to make him as comfortable as possible, show him how much I love him and let him go on his own terms? He would be my first rat ever dying purely of old age - I am happy he is lucky enough not to have to go through illness like Mac had, but this is really, really hard on both of us. It breaks my heart to know he'll never get a chance to live with the babies...

This is all so unfair... why do they have to live such a short life and get so miserable when they are lucky enough to life a full life and die of old age... :cry4:

 

[victoria]

:hugs:

 

[mamarat]

It is so hard to watch them but just know it's all normal to our little ones. Not sure what the vet could do at this point, just PTS. But if he's not in pain I would make him comfortable with his buddies. :hugs:

 

[jorats]

It's crushing when you realize they are nearing the end of their life... but they can still have a lot more to give. Extra cuddles now for him.

 

[Unepuce]

Good news! Pollux was still there when I got home from work, so I took him to couch to lie on my for a long cuddle session. I had to seringe feed his meds again, but he started looking better in the evening and when I offered soft food by the end of this evening, he pigged out! This morning, he ate both his meds and food by himself, even went up into a hammock.

So relieved!!! I still have some time left with my Ratosaurus, it seems! :dance:

 

[mamarat]

:joy:

 

[temblabamomo]

I'm glad he's still with you.

 

[jorats]

They have good days and some bad days. It's a good false alarm.

 

[Unepuce]

Two weeks ago, Pollux was finally let off abs (Tylan) and was doing A-OK. Then on Tuesday, I took him in (along with 4 of his friends) because he was looking more tired and his coat would stand up more and more often. His lungs were perfectely clear, but his tumor is growing a bit and... he had and abcess in his mouth! :?

My vet told me the only way to really treat those was through surgery, so he went down for 5 minutes while she opened and cleaned the abcess. He took a while to wake up completely, and by then, I already knew something was off. On Wednesday morning, I could see the abdominal breathing was back. And when I came back from work, he was all limp and sleepy and had a hard time taking his meds and eating his soft foods. Yesterday morning, he was even worse and I succeeded in getting the meds into him, but he wouldn't eat anything afterwards. I called the clinic from work in a panic, almost demanding to put him back on Tylan - which was accepted. He now has Tylan for his lungs, and Baytril for his abcess. And Metacam for his HED etc. And benebac to help digest the whole combo. When I got home from picking up the meds last night, I was convinced he wouldn't make it through the evening, let alone the night. He was licking his meds off my finger, but he was soooooo weak... :sad3: It took a while, but he ended up taking up the whole thing, then I put a cozygloo for him in the cage and he slept there until cage cleaning time.

I tried feeding him again, no luck. Then, I had a flash and tried seeing whether he was dehydrated... my poor baby!!!!! I screamed at BF to get me a syringe of water and try to get him to drink - he wouldn't. But when I put some water in the cup of my hand, he drank eagerly... and I kept insisting that he drinks, and eats, and by 1:00, his eyes were wide open again and he was dragging himself on the couch - I could go to sleep in peace.

What a scare this was!!! While giving him his meds last night, I begged him to give the Tylan a few days, and that if it didn't help his breathing and he wanted to go, I would help him go. I feel he trusted me and will keep on fighting. Hopefully, he will keep getting better this weekend, 'cause with the vet's office closed for two days... anic:

 

[mamarat]

Aww your poor sweetie. Let's hope the meds kick in fast.

 

[Petunia]

oh the ups and downs of living with an aging rattie, so sorry you're going thru this
:hugs:

I hope he does better on the meds and has lots more good days left.

 

[kscanuck785]

grosse colle a toi Nancy et gros bisous pour le beau pollux !!

 

[jorats]

You are doing so much for him. He loves you for it.

 

[Unepuce]

Thank you ladies...! :hugs:

Your good wishes and support, along with forced food and water and meds seem to have worked - when I came back from work tonight, Pollux was almost back to being himself. :dance: His eyes are big and bright, he ate like a pig, took his meds like champ, groomed, dragged himself around, licked me - he even bruxxed and boogled for me! :cloud9:

Now if the Tylan can relieve his breathing, he'll probably be good to go for a few more weeks! I got my miracle - I know one reason I'll be thankful for this weekend. You should have seen the smile on my face when Pollux was eating like there was no tomorrow - so weird how such a common and natural act can make me happy under some circumstances.

Come on Pollux, keep at it! Show us all how strong a Ratosaurus you are!

 

[mamarat]

That's so great when they have good days!

 

[Unepuce]

His time has now come.

He had blood in his stools yesterday, and again this morning. I am devastated. And exhausted. I haven't gone to bed earlier then 12:30 am on any given night for the past 2-3 months, to make sure he would be going to bed with a full belly and to cuddle with him before this dreaded day came. PTSing one of my babies is always a complete heartbreak, but I believe being so much sleep deprived is making it much worst today. Plus all that extra bonding time we got together...

By me taking him home, he got to live 2 full years longer. He was a pain the second he moved into his cage, but neutering calmed him down, and he's been the hugest cuddle bug for the past 6 months. I do believe he loves me and appreciates the life I have given him, and I know I have done everything I could to keep him safe, happy and healthy. Now there's nothing more I can do, and as much as it breaks my heart to pieces over and over again, I know I am doing the last little thing I can do for him. Gosh I will miss him. He's been special in so many ways during his time with me.

His appointment is at 3:20. I'll write a full memorium probably tomorrow. I don't think I will be much more than a wreck come 3:00 pm...

 

[hopefloats]

I am so sorry! Hugs to you! I know it is hard a choice every pet owner hates.

 

[Godmother]

Thinking of you and Pollux. :hugs: It is such a hard decision. I am glad that you had three more months of good time together.

 

[Petunia]

oh hon I am so so sorry!! :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
it's a blessing that we are able to do this for them but so hard and painful nonetheless.
sending you strength and comfort as you help your beloved boy make this journey.

you won't be able to hold him in your arms anymore, that's true but you will always hold him in your heart, in a very special place in your heart, I"m sure

 

[kscanuck785]

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: and one more :hugs: