Moses - died

[SQ]

Moses survived his surgery ... I thought that I might be kissing him goodbye when I left him at the vets this morning.

The tumour was much more invasive then we had thought.
It went down into his abdomen ... the person I spoke to on the phone said it may be spread throughout ....
and it doesn't sound like the lump was completely removed.
I guess the vet tried to reach me during surgery to see if I wanted to have Moses pts but I was out at a walk-in-medical-clinic trying to see a dr as I have been very ill for the last 8 days.

I was told that Moses is in some pain even tho he has recieved an injection of metacam.

So ... in an hour I will be going to speak with the vet re. if I should have Moses pts now or if I should bring him home ...
If Moses can have a good quality life and the nonmaligant tumour/cancer is slow growing then it might be ok for him to stick around until it affects his quality of life.
If he is going to be in pain, if the cancer/tumor is fast growing, or if it has spread through out his body, then it would be in Moses' best interests to be pts.

Any suggestions? Is my thinking about right?

:sad3:

 

[lilspaz68]

How fast did it grow in the last little while? You said it was growing crazy fast which made you decide to chance the surgery? If so, I would let him go especially if metacam is not managing his pain. I am sorry Holly.

 

[SQ]

How fast did it grow in the last little while? You said it was growing crazy fast which made you decide to chance the surgery? If so, I would let him go especially if metacam is not managing his pain. I am sorry Holly.

The lump grew slowly over many months ... vet did a needle biopsy and said it was not malignant and didn't need to be removed.
In Oct it seemed to be bothering him and looked bad so I considered surgery.
then almost overnight, it seemed to be greatly increased in size ... mostly internally so possible that it took me awhile to realise that it was growing ....

The person I spoke to said that Moses was in some pain because the operation was so extensive .... but then when she phoned back (after I had asked re having Moses pts because of pain) she said the vet wasn't concerned about pain, that Moses was only in a bit of pain, he would be fine pain-wise within a day or 2 and it was to be expected ... She said the major concern was the extent of the surgery.
So I asked to speak to the vet and get his recomendation before making any decision .... as to what is best for Moses ....

So ... soon I will leave to go cuddle Moses and talk to the vet ....
You are likely right, Lilspaz68 ... I will probably have to kill Moses.

 

[lilspaz68]

How fast did it grow in the last little while? You said it was growing crazy fast which made you decide to chance the surgery? If so, I would let him go especially if metacam is not managing his pain. I am sorry Holly.

The lump grew slowly over many months ... vet did a needle biopsy and said it was not malignant and didn't need to be removed.
In Oct it seemed to be bothering him and looked bad so I considered surgery.
then almost overnight, it seemed to be greatly increased in size ... mostly internally so possible that it took me awhile to realise that it was growing ....

The person I spoke to said that Moses was in some pain because the operation was so extensive .... but then when she phoned back (after I had asked re having Moses pts because of pain) she said the vet wasn't concerned about pain, that Moses was only in a bit of pain, he would be fine pain-wise within a day or 2 and it was to be expected ... She said the major concern was the extent of the surgery.
So I asked to speak to the vet and get his recomendation before making any decision .... as to what is best for Moses ....

So ... soon I will leave to go cuddle Moses and talk to the vet ....
You are likely right, Lilspaz68 ... I will probably have to kill Moses.

Holly, there is no killing. There is only letting go...you tried, but the circumstances were bigger than both you and he could/should handle. He would not have had ANY life at all, if you hadn't helped him when he was a baby.

 

[SQ]

When I cuddle them in my arms and I administer the oxygen/gas mix to render them unconscious,
and I tell the vet it is ok to inject them .... and I cuddle them until they are dead ...
A piece of my heart dies ....

but being there for them is the only way I can live with that decision

 

[lilspaz68]

When I cuddle them in my arms and I administer the oxygen/gas mix to render them unconscious,
and I tell the vet it is ok to inject them .... and I cuddle them until they are dead ...
A piece of my heart dies ....

but being there for them is the only way I can live with that decision

but there is still no kill...you are helping them. Remember that. You fought, you lost (either to illness, tumours or even age) and now its time to help them over. You help, you do not kill.

 

[mamarat]

:hugs: I'm so sorry.

 

[SQ]

It seems there was some miscommunication ....
Moses tumor was much larger then expected, the incision is very large but did not go into his abdominal muscle
so is only under the skin.
It may reoccur or the bit left may be vascular and not cause any problems.
Moses is doing well for an older boy who had surgery.\
He was very happy to see me, to see Jane, Matthew and Allie, and be fed some soy formula with baby cereal.

I am so very relieved!!!

Thank you Lilspaz68 for your support and comments ... I was a complete basket case this afternoon ....
Thank you mamarat for your knid words

 

[SQ]

Jane and Moses in the carrier today

Matthew, Allie, and Moses

Matthew, Moses, Allie and Jane

 

[Godmother]

Such a relief that he was better than you thought. Hope that he and Jane have a peaceful weekend.

 

[mamarat]

Great news! Give him gentle kisses for me.

 

[Godmother]

Sad update. Moses took a turn for the worse some time this afternoon. He had become unresponsive, had a few convulsions, and died.

RIP, sweet Moses. You beat the odds many times until today.

 

[SQ]

Moses was snuggled in a cube with his friends when I went in to give meds.
Moses didn't want his medication this afternoon so he laid on my lap while the others had their's.
Then I gave Moses his metacam by syringe.
He seemed cool, pale, and quickly became unresponsive.
Moses jerked several times over the next hour, remainded unresponsive, his breathing was the way rats breath when they are dying.
I gave him sub-Q fluids and cuddled him, and phoned the vet on call.
Moses had a couple of convulsions and died in my arms.

He was doing well on Friday and Sat, trukin along, eating his meds, food, treats etc
He was doing so well, I don't understand ....
Moses was 2 years old on Nov 10 .... glad he got to enjoy baby cereal & soy formula and peas yesterday ...
I am heart broken

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=21838&p=298561&hilit=moses#p298561

 

[lilspaz68]

I am so sorry Holly...the surgery may just have been too much for his heart.

 

[mamarat]

I'm so sorry. You both tried so hard. Rest well sweet boy.