I think I've made a big mistake, always getting new rats when older ones have passed away.
I rationalized it as helping other rats who need a home, plus making sure my remaining rats have plenty of company
but I think now, it may have partly been a desperate attempt to not feel the loss of each passing rat....
of course you can't- and I would never want to!- replace any individual rat, they are all so unique
but I think I rushed into getting new ones too soon, and now, I have five older rats, one coming up on 2yrs, and four all around 18 mos or so, and just one young'un-
so I am facing losing a bunch all around the same time, probably.....
and now, it's getting harder and harder to spend time with them, because instead of being happy to be with them,
suddenly all I can think is, if I love you too much, this is gonna hurt so bad when you leave
I feel myself withdrawing and trying to distance myself from them
this is not good of course and I feel terrible about it
did this happen to anyone else?
I feel like maybe I didn't take the time to grieve the last ones that went on ahead and now it's all catching up to me
I have decided to take a break from rats after this colony has all passed on.
For financial reasons as well as because of the heartbreak of losing them so soon
it just feels very overwhelming to me right now
I feel like I just want to protect my heart from breaking again
does anyone else go thru this?
I rationalized it as helping other rats who need a home, plus making sure my remaining rats have plenty of company
but I think now, it may have partly been a desperate attempt to not feel the loss of each passing rat....
of course you can't- and I would never want to!- replace any individual rat, they are all so unique
but I think I rushed into getting new ones too soon, and now, I have five older rats, one coming up on 2yrs, and four all around 18 mos or so, and just one young'un-
so I am facing losing a bunch all around the same time, probably.....
and now, it's getting harder and harder to spend time with them, because instead of being happy to be with them,
suddenly all I can think is, if I love you too much, this is gonna hurt so bad when you leave
I feel myself withdrawing and trying to distance myself from them
this is not good of course and I feel terrible about it
did this happen to anyone else?
I feel like maybe I didn't take the time to grieve the last ones that went on ahead and now it's all catching up to me
I have decided to take a break from rats after this colony has all passed on.
For financial reasons as well as because of the heartbreak of losing them so soon
it just feels very overwhelming to me right now
I feel like I just want to protect my heart from breaking again
does anyone else go thru this?