Guilty conscience...

[RatsRGods]

About 3 weeks or so ago, my vet found a tumor in my ratties abdomenal area. She went into surgery to remove it but said that she couldnt because the tumor had grown into other organs and it was too difficult.
So she closed him back up and I came to pick him up.

The thing is, when I picked him up from the vet's I asked if they had any pain meds to give him but the vet tech said they didnt have pain meds for small animals like rats.

I felt weird about it but I didnt say anything.
I could tell he was in pain, of course, but I wanted to bring him home to live as comfortably as possible.
I knew he wouldnt have long and he ended up passing away a week after the surgery.

Basically, I have a guilty conscience. One, for putting him through that surgery. Two, no pain meds. Is this normal?
I just cant get it out of my mind.
Can someone help ease my worries?

 

[Fidget]

One, you were trying to make everything ok for him with the surgery, you can't help what was found. So you have no guilt to carry there.
Two, no pain meds. I'd agonize over that too, but we only put our kids in the hands of the vets when we don't feel that we can do better for them. And we have to put our trust in the vets.
If he needed pain meds then it was the vet's decision to make. If the vet was wrong then if you had enough experience you might know it. But if you didn't then you are always going to feel bad about it, but you shouldn't feel guilty.

We've all made mistakes in learning, I have a few kids I feel bad about - if I only knew then what I know now. I often have times I think of one or the other and then I apologize to them all again. I still cry, I still feel regret.
But I know that they know that I did the best I knew at the time. And when it comes down to it, it's not about me, it's about them, right?
And I know they would want me to remember them in our happiest moments, not the worst of them. So if I failed them then, I can only atone for it now by letting them be happy & healthy in my memories, not frozen in dire straits at their worst as long as I live..

Think of your boy in his best times - that honors his memory. If you need to cry go ahead.
But cry for the loss of his company. Don't make it about yourself and what you could have done or you should have done - that just takes away from your boy. He wouldn't want you to hurt like this anyway, he'd want you to remember him with a uplifting feeling.

 

[lilspaz68]

If your vet wasn't very experienced with rats they might not know that almost all meds are off-label for use in rats. Metacam, which is given to dogs, is a wonderful pain med, and you can suggest that next time.

There should be no guilt on your part, this happens sometimes. You tried your best but the tumor was inoperable.

 

[jorats]

I agree... you've done everything possible to help the little guy and that's a lot.
I'd go back to the vet and tell him about metacam and the fact that many rats do get it.

 

[Dewi]

I think you did the right thing and in a situation like this you'd feel guilty whether your rat underwent the surgery or not. In relation to the pain, next time ask for Metacam. Even talk to the vet about it before there is a next time as your rat may need it as the tumour grows . For milder pain, you can even use ibuprofen for infants, which is available from the pharmacist (not sure what the dosage is though, but I could find out).

I'm so sorry that the tumour was inoperable. I hope your little guy is feeling better now and that the remainder of his life is filled with comfort, lots and treats and love.

 

[Godmother]

I am sorry for what you went through. It is heartbreaking to do your best and then realize later that something else might have been better.

Pain is particularly tough to cope with, given the almost unbelievable ignorance of people -- including professionals -- about that topic. There are plenty of human doctors who don't think pain is a big deal, and it wasn't too many years ago that people believed that kids didn't feel pain! I knew a guy who'd had a lot of surgery as a child, who had suffered horribly after surgery due to inadequate medication.

Fidget's distinction between feeling bad and feeling guilty is a good one. Tough to make that distinction when you're going through it, but I hope that you can feel regret without guilt as time goes by.

Maybe your best consolation is knowing that what you have learned will spare your present and future rats the same fate. Your dear ratty did not live long after the surgery and, if the tumour had invaded his other organs, may not have had full consciousness during the last days.

Meanwhile, if your vet is open to discussion, you could get a small supply of metacam to keep on hand for emergencies.

Take care of yourself. :rose2:

 

[RatsRGods]

Thank you all for posting such kind messages.
It made me cry.

I will definitely remember to mention metacam for future reference.

I do try and remember the good times. He was such a happy boy. Sometimes I think he just packed in too much fun and liveliness for one life, that's why he had to go so soon...

 

[Dewi]

I just re-read your original post and I didn't realise that your little guy had already passed away.

I'm so very sorry about this. Sending you a big hug. :hugs:

Dewi